Phase of Life

It is November now, time flew, few more weeks and it will lead us to a brand new year. I am currently doing my degree in Help, nothing much that I could say about it, it's just like carrying a routine job for me. One thing that I wish for, is to complete my degree as soon as possible.

I still remembered, there are times when others tried to console me, I got more frustrated and upset instead of grateful. Why am I having that kind of feeling? Shouldn't I feel better and glad? That time I can't find my words to describe my feeling, bt now I do. It was a mixed feeling of disgustion and irritation. I felt disgusted with myself when people console me, as if they are sympatizing. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I felt helpless when I found that I can't solve it myself. But I refuse to get help from the others, mum said I am stubborn. Well, may be she was right, I am stubborn. Afterall, I am still me, the one and only me.

There are some times, when I think I can't stand it anymore and that I will get emotional break down anytime soon. I shared my experience and feelings with my besties, surprisingly I found that I am not the only one who face this kind of problem. So later we had come out with a conclusion, that it was just a phase of lifes that we have to go through at least once a while. Sounds sad huh? Life is really tiring, agree no?

I think I am currently having the phase where I can get depress easily. I got upset and angry over some small matter, just because I am too frustrated. I cried over for nothing, just because its the only way I can release my mixed feeling. I got either extremely depressed or extremely hyper, its just too emotional until I can't control it. My besties told me that I need to learn to take it easy, don't over stress on myself. I agreed with her, think I really need to take a break. Somehow, I still have to go through it myself. Sadly, we can't ask help from the others. As we know that, no one could help even though they are willing to. Reality is cruel and only the strongest could survive. And life as we know, is the best teacher.