Dilemma

Recently, I am having a dilemma. I don't know which would be the best way for me to choose. Of course, I would love to work something out. But the reality showed the other way round.

I asked myself repeatedly, should I? Or should I not? If I should, will the situation turn out better? If I shouldn't, then what will be the consequences?

Honestly, I don't know. I was torned in between. I was stucked in the middle of no where. I am not sure what is the right or wrong, good or bad. I am just confused with myself.

I wish I could be more considerate and understanding. I wish I could have more patience and kindness. I wish I could be more faithful and confident. I wish... I wish.... 

I just wish I could do it better. But seems like I have not put enough effort on it, haven't I? May be that is why I still need to work harder.

I just don't understand, while I hope you would have a better understanding compared to me. So, do you? 

机会

从前从前，有一个很虔诚的教徒。他非常信任上帝。
有一天，教徒的家遇上了大水灾。水把教徒的家淹没了。教徒只好爬到屋顶上去。
教徒不断的祈祷，请求上帝来救他。

就在这时，前方来了一艘小舢板。
救护人员说：“ 我们来救你了，快上船来吧。”
教徒拒绝了， 他说：“不用了，我已经向上帝祈祷了，他会来救我的。你们去帮忙其他更需要的人吧。”
就这样，小舢板开走了，而教徒则继续祈祷。

接着，又来了一艘快艇。
救护人员说：“ 快上来吧，水已经快要把整间房子淹没了。”
但教徒以同样的理由拒绝了救护人员的好意， 他说：“ 不了，我在等上帝来救我。你去救其他人吧。”
就这样，快艇也开走了，教徒还是继续的祈祷。

水快把屋顶也淹没了，眼看教徒就要被水淹死了。

就在关键时刻，来了一架直升机。
救护人员放下梯子，说：“ 快爬上来吧，你就要淹死了。”
教徒还是坚持不肯接受帮忙的说：“ 不，我在等上帝来救我呢!!"
就这样，直升机也开走了。

最后，不出所料的，教徒终于被水淹死了。
他带着对上帝的怨恨上了天堂。

在天堂里，他看见了上帝，就质问他说：“ 上帝啊！我那么信任您，日夜向您祈祷，为什么您不来救我呢？”
上帝听见了，慈爱又带点无奈的说：“ 我已经尽了我的能力去救你了。我前后派了舢板、快艇和直升机过去，但你却不肯把握机会救你自己，所以才落得如此下场。你还能怪谁呢？”

机会，无所不在；只有懂得把握机会的人，才能珍惜机会的可贵，救人也自救。

与好友们共勉之 : )

gRateFuL

Thanks to those who have failed me before, I have learned my lessons well enough to grow tougher and wiser. I just want to say that, 

I might not born in a  wealthy family, but I have more than enough for what I have actually needed.

I might not have a lot of friends, but I have my besties with me.

I might not be talented, but at least I am not stupid.

I might not be good in my studies, but at least I was given chance to prove myself.

I might not be charming and pretty, but at least I am a healthy and happy person.

I might not be successful, but at least I will always try to do my best.

I might not be clever, but doesn't mean that I can't dream big.

After so much hard times that I have gone through, I could say that I have grown up as a stronger and tougher person. I know that I am not alone when I have my family and besties by my side. With that, I always consider myself as a very lucky person. 

BoH....rInGGGGGG....

Honestly, I am BORED!!! ishhh... =.= yea, I thk i really am. I will be sitting for another final exam paper tis coming Thurs, bt yet I can still lacking here without any productive action towards the coming paper. LOL... My besties said tat I m jz a LITTLE tooooo free at d moment and I hv nth more to do except keep complaining for the boredom without a purpose n most IMPORTANTLY it annoys her. haha.. =p Yea, I noe it sounds like "sai meng" to her. As she needs to work on weekdays, and she have few things to be handled on hand in her work recently. But... I jz love to kacau her!! Its one of my favourites to see her got angry n fight bek. LOL.. EVIL me.. U r right, thk I m jz a lil toooo bored. =p

I jz sat d final paper last Mon for another skill subject. And then I started to lack for d whole week, before i hv finally realize tat thr r oni 3 days left b4 another final paper. =.= GREAT!!! I have total 7 chapters to be covered. T.T thk tats d consequences of being lazy... ishhh... so STOP COMPLAINING and START WORKING on it NOW, LWB!! Tats wt I hv told myself tis morning n apparently it works!!! Even its jz for few hours in d noon. ^^ " Effective huh? LOL.. =p

So wt hv I done for d past a week? Erm.. Let's see. Most of the time I went out for meal wiv my dearest mummy. We had grocceries shopping and also went for book shop on wed. And I have visited my beloved grandma on Tues and hv a bowl of my ALL-TIME-FAVOURITE Asam Laksa in the pasar malam. Yummy!! ^^ Then hv lunch wiv my besties on fri after class. Later d week, I was lacking at home and hv some reading on my new books. Ok, hr comes d conclusion. I did nth which I can relate it to my coming paper bt I really hv a great time spent wiv my family and fren. Its worthy afterall. Hehe... : )

I miss all those Sing k and yc session, shopping and also chit-chatting wiv frens. =( Most of them r bc wiv their studies and working life. I miss those days lots, especially those gd frens whom I spent most d time wiv in my Uni life. =)

Ok, gtg!! It's time for dinner again. Hehe... Thanks for those who spend time reading on my post written in a Boh..RinGGgg day. =p   

现实中的梦想

小时候很单纯，常梦想自己能像电视剧里的主角们一样，当个律师、医生、驾名车、住洋楼。生活不如意，就随手买张机票去外国生活一阵子。长大了，才发现演戏和真实的人生原来是有那么一段距离的。

人长越大，就越发觉自己懂得事情越多，看的世界也开始逐渐变形扭曲。以前懵懂的时候，虽也知道钱不容易赚，但心里还是觉得没什么大不了的，只要我有心，还怕找不到钱吗？呵呵... 说得倒容易，做的时候才惊觉原来一分一毫都是需要努力的。从那时起，学会了计算和衡量钱。但就像account里的B/S一样，付出的努力和得到的报酬永远不是对称的。心里就开始有了那么一点点的不平衡... =.=

中学毕业后一段时期，好友们还都能常聚在一起逛街、吃饭、聊天。但渐渐的人数越来越少，因为大部分的都出国去念书了，剩下的人当中就有一个是我。三年前，在机场目送第一个也是最好的朋友上飞机开始，往后的每一年，都有一位好友会坐上飞机离开。每次看着朋友们的离去，心里除了不舍还有一丝感伤。因为我知道那是一个我渴望能去但却没有机会去的地方。这时候，才终于知道人只是有梦想是不足够的，因为同时也要有实现梦想的能力。不然梦想也只是一个梦想，不会有变成现实的一天。

现实是残酷的，我很久以前就知道。但我管制不了自己的心，总是要一而再的去渴望和梦想着我会有很大可能性的不到的东西，说穿了就是傻吧。^^"　当初一心要减轻父母重担的我，却因为在没好好计划和搞清楚的情况下作了选择。最后搞得自己处于两头不到边的尴尬情况，也连累了父母。结果是浪费了爸妈的血汗钱，而自己则白白的赔掉了时间和努力。妈说，早知道当初就别省那么一点钱了。是啊，我也知道，但世上好像没有“早知道”的道理，现在已经太迟了。

好友问，你后悔吗？相信我，在她还没问之前，我可是问了自己很多遍的。=p 人就是爱自寻烦恼，对吗？我说，不后悔，但我很遗憾。是的，我很遗憾。到我想回头的时候，已经没有机会了。直到我发现了，想弥补时，也已经来不及了。不止一次，我告诉她说觉得自己很笨。身为好友的她，也不多安慰我，反而说出我的缺点和过错。对啊，好友就该要这样，因为把你当好友，才想你做好。=)

我问她，觉得我还有机会吗？她不出声，我知道，这问题很难答，因为谁也说不准。就连我自己也不知道。但我知道她绝不会为了安慰我而说好话，这也是为什么她是我好友。她说，自己也想实现梦想，但要付出代价的。可能会让年老的父母有重担，自己也可能因此失去了工作的好机会。她问我，值得吗？该去吗？我反问，你舍得吗？有时觉得，现实就是拿来训练人的。因为要得到一样东西的同时，你也必须放弃某些东西。舍得舍得，有舍；才有得。=)

再多两个月，就是我的生日了。怀疑时间是不是都坐着喷射机，不然怎么能飞那么快呢？哈哈... 好友听了，一定又要损我是个够冷的白痴。=p 而我还在期待着梦想能够起飞的一天。=)