D.R.E.A.M

I bet nowadays, even a kindergarten kid could spell out the word. Yes, it is always easy to spell out a word or to speak it out loud. It's the action taken to reach nor the process that have to go through that made the word seems so far.

I used to dream a lot when I was a kid, I think most people do have their dreams, either big or small, it doesn't matter. Just that to what extent, would you sacrifice for your dream? And under what circumstances, that you would have no choice but to give up on your dreams?

I may not know about the others, but I do know that most people, including me used to think that it is so far away from us and that it could not be reached. Yet, I'm tired to listen to words like this. For once over these 25 years, I had a strong feeling that I don't want to be a good girl anymore. The obedient child who used to follow orders... The girl who used to bound to fate and destiny... not anymore...

I know this sounds insane, and I sound crazy. People might say, ok, so exactly how you going to be what you so-called a not obedient child? Frankly, I don't know. I just think there's at least something I could work out to reach for it slowly. Some people might laugh at me for my naiveness, I know. I might not be the most perfect and unique, but somehow everyone surely has his own perfectness and uniqueness, hasn't he? So I think I am too. :)

 I learn to appreciate and love myself more recently, to find out more possibilities in me. I think I've wasted many time in griefing for the past and in doubting myself. So time to buckle up and work things out now.

There's always something worth to be wasted time chasing on, and I would called that DREAM.

Nervous

This is it... It's coming... I should've got myself well prepared by now, but still I am nervous when the time comes.

There's no way back now, something has to be done and someone has to take the first step forward. With no doubt, I know I has to be the one. Fear no more and afraid of nothing, I told myself. Still my heart pounding hard and loud, reminding me of how anxious I am now.

I'm glad that the anxiety didn't show on face somehow, I could at least lie to myself that I'm as calm as it shown. Hope it works...

May everything go on smoothly and good luck...

It's Time...

Finally...

I think I could say that now... 'cause its like FINALLY... I've completed what I should have done completed few years ago.

The moment I received the news, I was too happy to believe that it was actually happening on me. Forgive me, but its just too good to be true. So that's how it feels like when something you wish very hard had finally came true.

I still couldn't believe that this had finally come to an end, as the long holiday started ealier before the news. But I was slowly convinced as I started to get things settled down in process. When I had the last thing settled, I was in total relief. I had completed the phase at last. :)

Surprisingly, I didn't shout in joy for the good news, though I am excited and happy about it. Just few words of "I did it" to mum and no more. May be that's because I know, no one would understand how much this means to me as I was.

Relief yet exhausted, I'm total confused by the mixed feelings. I fought hard for what I want, and I got it at last. Though it didn't come at the time that I've expected earlier, still I got it in my hand now, didn't I?

Received another good news today from my besty who is currently studying abroad. She did her best for the chance to the next phase, and the good news is she made it finally. Chance created, and at least she now has an opportunity to stay and move on. Sometimes I wish I could learn more from her, to always have the courage to fight for what she want. And has a very clear path on where she is heading to and always plan ahead for it. She already had some of her dreams came true, while I only have one so far. There's still a long way to go before I could have the second...

I know it's time that I should put my words into action... no more excuses, no more lacking off, no more fear... Something needs to be done at least, to get dreams come true... I chose to fight before it's too late, and it's still too early for me to give up without trying...

*Some said: "Yesterday was a history, tomorrow is a mystery, while today is a GIFT!!" But I'll say: "Yesterday was a past, today is always a presence, and tomorrow always await." Always do the best before to give up. You'll never know what's awaiting in the future. ;)

To Myself... :)

Short update

Had some photos with couz Jen last two weekend ago, and I only have time to make the update now. I had been busy for the week, fetching Aunt Suet Lan for errands, visitting grandma, reading, browsing for job, and cold-war with mum.... =.= Days were filled easily with all these usual and bored stuffs, but that's life, it's all about family, friends and living.

Run through the picture again, after I got that from couz Jen. Undeniably, I really do have a cute couz by my side. :P I found that nowadays, simple things like these could always lift up my day easily, as I find it so rare and precious. So I treasured every happy moment that I had.

Again, the curve on my mouth lifted. :)