Where's Love?

I'm surprised, on how love could change a person's attitude and influence their minds and thoughts.

You became so mean and bitter. I can't find any similarity to connect you with the one, that I've once known and respected. I'm curious and upset. Why? You said it's all because of love.

I've heard something similar, from someone that I would never wanted to meet again, even if there were a 2nd chance. Promises and sweet talks seem so reasonable and easy, when love filled the air. But it was replaced by curses and hurting words, when love faded and anger started to rule.

I don't understand. If you do love her, why would you still let those words to slip away from your mouth, and you know its hurting. Love had gave us the ability to praise, to accept, and to forgive. But not anger, hatred, and doubt.

I'm hurted and scared, with what you've did the other day. I can't find any belongingness and warmth, from you and the place. It's ironic, because this was suppose to be the best place for every child. I lost all my faith in you, when I saw those mask on you.

If that's what love mean, I would rather just let go. Because to me, love would never made us to say or do something like that.  

I felt so insecure and disappointed in so-called love. I started to doubt what love is, and to wonder do I really know how to love. Only God knows, how disappointed I was, the moment I found the horrible truth.

My Little World...

...is a place, where I can rest, and keep myself out of the harsh world.

The little world is also a place, where I feel myself completely belong with. No lies and no mask, I'm who I am. It offered me a place, for me to face myself truely.

Thanks, my little world. Though I doubt the time that I could still spend with you, before I finally decided to leave. But you will always be the place, which I would like to stay.

Love is...

...a double bladed sword, don't you think?

Watched the movie, "Dark Shadows" in the noon, together with colleagues and the special one. It's in my movie list since few weeks ago, after I watched its trailer. It was not as interesting as expected. But still it was a really nice movie, for me. :)

Barnabas, a womanizer who was cursed to be a vampire and locked in stone coffin for almost 200 years. Came alive when some unfortunate workers accidentally free him from the box. He then met his true love, who once have died centuries ago, and fall for her again. But their love was cursed and that include Barnabas's family. His niece became a warewolf, his nephew became an orphan without his beloved mother, and they've lost their home and family business.

It's the revenge from Angelique, a witch who loves Barnabas so much, that she could do anything to own him. But as Barnabas said, she was cursed too, without her notice. She was cursed that she couldn't fall in love. Living as an immortal but has no soul. She is so strong and bitter, yet she is a fragile woman with a heart as fragile as her body, that even a single touch might break it easily.

What's love and where's love? True love made Josette/Victoria to became a vampire for Barnabas, but true love also turned Angelique into a bitter woman, who live in vengence and hatred. Love brought sweetness and bitterness at the same time. It's heart-warming when love is in the air, but it's painful when love has gone and turned into hatred.

People said for every I hate you spoken, there's love behind. Because only the equal amount of love could generate a greater or equal amount of hatred. As for each bit of hatred came from the love and affection that you once had.

The family love bond Barnabas and his family together, they backed each other up when trouble hits either one of them. Blood is always thicker than water, and that's what to bond a family together, and family will always be the greatest fortune.

Love isn't perfect, but still it does exist. It's a double bladed sword, but we are the one who decide whether to use it against us or others, aren't we?

So, Live life with love... and Cheers for that there's still love...  :)

Sunshines of life

Sometimes, I'm curious, where did my motivation come from. I'm not special, nor talented, and I'm not stronger, or tougher either. It's just that... 

There's always this wise person, who used to show me some light, whenever I'm in the darkness of no where.

There's always this caring person, who used to pamper me with love, whenever I need someone to back me up.

And there's always this person, who used to make my days happier, whenever I wanted to keep myself from the harsh reality.

I'm surrounded and pampered by this person. I'm taught life is never easy, and it's meant to be overcame, but not run away from.

There's also this particular person, who appears to be a great fighter and my master, taught me to stay strong and keep moving on. She had shown her wisdom and taught me a great lesson, even when she is at her critical situation of life. She made through it, though the chance was least to say.

She taught me to be an optimist, especially during the hard times. Stay positive and laugh through every hardship. It's not that bad afterall, she said. :)

It's one of my belief, which motivates me to walk through the ups and downs in life.


To whom I love and who loves me,

The Master

I've not imagine, that I would ever give others the impression of toughness. Just few days ago, my newly-known-colleague, who appeared to sit beside me, shared her comment.

She said I appears to be a tough one, and that I would have taken any challenges given and will do my best to meet the requirements. This is the 1st time I've ever heard such positive comment from others, especially someone whom I met for only half a month ago.

I asked for the reason. She said I don't look like a crying baby, and I never show fear or shed tears even if I knew I have to stay up late to have my work done. Though we all knew that, there's always work waiting to be done. It's only my 3rd working week, and I've already felt that its an endless road...

I'm appreciate to receive such positive comment from her. But deep down inside my heart, I know that I'm nothing, but a master of disguise.

I started as an apprentice and slowly I became, someone whom I wanted to become since I was in junior high. There're so many tears and hardship, behind every happy face. I think I do know why I never like to see a clown like other kids. Other than the fear of looking at their overly painted face. I know that they're not as happy as they've shown, yet their job is to entertain and to spread happiness.

Sometimes, I don't really know which one is the real me. Is it the one who used to cry for help? or the one who used to stay calm and tough? I wouldn't know. As I've been cheated by my own con as well. Believing that I'm a tough and strong one.

People were curious, why do I used to make my life so difficult, since I could always choose an easier way to get things done. I just don't know. Truth and reality taught me well, there's no free lunch in the world. Even my course of study emphasizes that there will never be something good without making something else worst off. Or in short, there's always trade off in every decision.

I've given up upon the chance to shed my tears for help, when I chose to shut this part of me deep down in me. Be a fighter when you still have the strength to fight. And even if I'm going to fall, I would want to fall beautifully, with style. ;)