Dream and Reality

There is a period of time,
when I used to tell myself every morning before I got down from my bed, that it is just a nightmare. Its a really bad dream. I should lie down, close my eyes and head back to sleep again. And later when I open my eyes again, everything will be back to normal and nothing has ever happened.

There is also a period of time,
when I used to tell myself that all these are not real. It's either I am still dreaming or someone was trying to make fun of me. I shouldn't believe it, that is because even what we saw with the eyes of our own, doesn't mean the truth. I shall be patient and wait for the someone to tell me that it was just a joke afterall. I also shall just wait for the sun to rise from the east and I will wake up from the horrible dream.

But sadly,

I found that I am actually awake and aware of what is going on. Although I tried so hard telling myself that I am not, but that's the reality that I should faced.

Reality that is cruelly true.

Forgive and Forget

I have nothing much to share in this post. Just a feeling, to write down my thoughts.

Sometime ago, something happened. Although time have passed and things have changed, but the lessons are remain still. So are the memories. Eventually it became a nightmare which haunted me whenever I feel weak and helpless. I couldn't help myself to not think about it, no matter how hard I tried. I was still, trapped in the past.

I wanted to let it go so so much, and free myself from the hatred and vengence. But why? Why is it so hard to forgive and forget? I don't wish to dwell in the past, but I can't convince myself to do so. Never have I felt that much of anger. Never have I felt that lost. Never have I felt that despair.

I am learning on how to forgive. But can I forget? and pretend that nothing has happened before? I don't know. It is always easy to forgive, but it never does when it comes to forget. Because the brain will captures those memories which have strong affection on our feelings. May be I just couldn't forget the feeling that I once had. The lessons are too great and it left me nothing, but the horrible truth to bear. 

Time have past and things have changed throughout all these while. I have changed but something in me are still remain. And I know there is still a long way for me to go, to finally learn to let go.

心的悸动

看了好友的分享
心里是一阵莫名的悸动
感慨 羡慕 抑或期盼？

曾经有人说
我 冷漠无情 喜怒无常
女生该有的浪漫 脆弱 依赖 撒娇
在我身上找不到
当时的我
自豪的抬起头
自负得连解释也免了
倒也乐得自在

曾经
自负于那倔强 有原则的自己
自豪于那仿佛有 勇气撑过所有困难的自己
但却未曾想过
是否会因此 让自己变得不近人情 难以接近


从来就知道 自己
没有无可救药的浪漫情怀
没有当小女人被保护的份
没有女生小鸟依人的天分

只希望 没因此令身边的人失望
我还是乐得当个独特的自己
但 心....
依然在悸动

Being Together

Last night, I went yc with my Uni friend at Wings Cafe. Reached there at about 9, we soon find ourself a comfortable seat to enjoy the night. It's a cooling night, together with the Venice Shore that I have ordered for myself and the soft music. Hmm... I really do enjoy the night in such ambience. :)

While me and my friend are enjoying the music and chatting, there is some happening in the cafe. There is a guy who proposed his girlfriend on the spot. He prepared a video of the memories along their 8 years relationship, and he suddenly showed up with a big bouquet of flower on his hand. He kneel down in front of her and ask her to marry him. Later he sing her a song which wrote by himself. The song is meaningful and soft, just like the lover's whisper. I bet his girlfriend must be touched. Without any doubt, he succeed. :) Sincerely, I wish them a happy, blessed and long-lasting marriage.

Usually I would define such romance as part of the fairy tale which will only appear in the drama or story books. An 8-years-relationship used to sound like a mission impossible to most of us, but the couple proves us that there are still, people who have faith and confidence towards love and marriage.

It is not an easy task to maintain a long term relationship, couple might face a lot of problems and challenges from many other different aspects. It requires a lot of faith, courage and confidence to go through all those obstacles. Those who manage to pass the test and reach the end would have win themselves a passport to the new chapter of life to spend with the one they love.

Sometimes, I wonder what is the meaning of being together. Does it mean spending all the time together? Or it means marrying someone and spend the rest of the life with his or her? 

Then now, I think that...

The meaning of being together might just as simple as, stay together regardless of poverty and sickness, thou shall also be faithful and loyal to each another. :)

外婆

小时候，可说是给外婆一手带大的。虽然其中几年是给隔壁奶妈照顾，但大部分时候，我都是在外婆家度过我童年的美好时光。

记忆中的外婆很爱笑，常常一点小事情就能逗得她咧嘴大笑。小时候的我，最爱逗她了。说笑话、瘙痒、撒娇、顶嘴，就连按摩也能令她笑个不停，那是因为怕痒的外婆不习惯按摩。有时回想起来，或许我那爱笑和怕痒的习惯是外婆遗传的也说不定。

外婆是个慈祥的老人，很少会摆出长辈高高在上的样子。或许也是因为这样，所以外婆很容易和小孩打成一片但却也常常被我们欺负，拗她买东西或带我们去喝茶。但我们也有怕外婆的时候，尤其是当我们闹脾气不吃饭时，外婆就会用她的专用绝技来对付我们。每次被外婆这么吓一吓，我们就会乖乖吃饭了。

除此以外，记忆中的外婆也很爱吃。不论是餐厅或街边摊子，只要是能吃的，外婆绝不嫌弃。以前，外婆很喜欢到巴刹外的茶室去喝茶、吃早点，每次都点一杯古早式的咖啡。那咖啡有点苦，喝了牙齿和舌头还会留点咖啡的颜色。妈妈不让我喝，但不听话的我常拗到外婆妥协、肯给我喝为止。咖啡就成了我们的秘密，因为说好了不能让妈妈知道。

想想，调皮又爱捣蛋的我确实令外婆伤透脑筋。但我很高兴在童年时，有外婆的照顾和陪伴。:)

Thank You!!!

I am happy to receive your call today. So here I am, to write you a short Thank You note. :)

Thanks for your concern and I am happy to hear that you have read my post.

Anyway just a short update for you, I am doing fine here and I have solved the problem which currently puzzled me. So no worries. Will let you know the details when there is time later. =p  

It has been sometime since we have last met for yc session. How is you doing recently? I hope everything was fine with you. Take good care and wish you all the best.

You will always have my best wishes. 

xoxo :)