Forgive and Forget

I have nothing much to share in this post. Just a feeling, to write down my thoughts.

Sometime ago, something happened. Although time have passed and things have changed, but the lessons are remain still. So are the memories. Eventually it became a nightmare which haunted me whenever I feel weak and helpless. I couldn't help myself to not think about it, no matter how hard I tried. I was still, trapped in the past.

I wanted to let it go so so much, and free myself from the hatred and vengence. But why? Why is it so hard to forgive and forget? I don't wish to dwell in the past, but I can't convince myself to do so. Never have I felt that much of anger. Never have I felt that lost. Never have I felt that despair.

I am learning on how to forgive. But can I forget? and pretend that nothing has happened before? I don't know. It is always easy to forgive, but it never does when it comes to forget. Because the brain will captures those memories which have strong affection on our feelings. May be I just couldn't forget the feeling that I once had. The lessons are too great and it left me nothing, but the horrible truth to bear. 

Time have past and things have changed throughout all these while. I have changed but something in me are still remain. And I know there is still a long way for me to go, to finally learn to let go.