Happy Belated...

There is always a Happy Belated for birthday, but I not sure whether it is also the same for Mummy's Day. This year's Mummy's Day fell on 8th of May and I miss the chance to wish my mum. It's a long story though. Me and my mum were actually having a cold war during the Mummy's Day.

I couldn't recall much about how and when we started it. At the end only shouts and arguments with hurt feelings were left to remind us about what had happened. After what happened, we seldom talk to nor look at each other except there's really no choice. As for my side, I try my best to ignore her whenever I was at home with her, and I locked myself in my room most of the time, just to avoid facing her that much. Everything she said or did irritates me. I got very frustrated whenever she brought up a topic that ignores my feeling.

I don't bother to know what she might be feeling for what I did. All I care was that something she did or said have hurt my feelings so deep. I couldn't help myself for not getting angry at her nor asking myself to forget what she have done. I seem to have forgotten that she was my dearest mum and she used to love me with all her heart and soul. Even sometimes what she did was not appropriate, but still she is my mum and I should know that she will not harm me, no matter what.

We had a talk few days ago, after something happened on me. My feelings and nerves have finally broke down. It took me some time to chill. I blamed myself for not realizing that she actually love me more than anything else in this world. She did her best to keep me safe and happy, even she didn't aware that what she did was actually over and might be hurtful. She spent half her life time to raise me, and there is not a complaint from her. She changed herself so that she can communicate better with me. My anger and egoism had got me blind and forgetful. As I tried to ignore her effort for being a good mother.

I know I am not an obedient child either. I used to complain for her overly control, her nags and advices, sometimes even on her cooking. I challenged her tolerance by saying something hurtful in the past. I demand for expensive goods without being considerate. I hang out late even though I know she can't sleep well and worried. I know you have tried your best to know me more, it's just that sometimes I have chosen to keep a distance. I know you felt hurt when you found that I chose to hide my heart from you. I am sorry, mum.

I just want to let you know that I enjoyed most of the time that I have spent with you. You used to be my best companion whenever I need someone to be aside. You are my stylist and used to give me a lot of advices on clothing and style.You are also a reminder as you know I am a forgetful person. Thanks for everything, mum. I know I should have said that to you earlier and I hope its never too late for me to say it now.

I am glad that we can finally break the ice and get back to normal again. I miss the old times when we used to shop, chat and hunt for food together. I know I am not a perfect daughter but I will try my best to be one, as what you did to become a perfect mum for me. :)

Happy Mother's Day, my dearest Mummy. Love always..